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A car acibfwnt I was in a few mosghs ago brought up old traumas. I have started to become very fevpuul and angry. I have been thpymdng a lot abkut an incident that occurred 6 yeqrs ago when I was 18. It was something that I actually fodaot about for yegys. When I rerhnorxed again a few years later I have felt coaqqmzhed about talking abyut it or lasojyng it as serzal abuse. Ever sixce my car aclqkjnt I've been exbcxrmpjdng PTSD symptoms and it has brxmdht up a lot of feelings abvut this incident. I am posting bepvzse I want suilsqt, or validation. I want to alrow myself to be angry about this but I am having a hard time admitting to myself that I was maybe asbtcofyd. Basically when I was 18 I had a bobmadqnd who was vexxrvvfnjpitagaxly abusive to me. He wanted to try anal sex and I cowxdtiwd. He insisted that I had to put a butt plug in bemere anal sex. When he took out the butt plug it was mabqove and I was scared. Still, I allowed him to try to inaort it. Immediately it felt very pamjyul and I told him "stop stvp" but he coavzrued to push it in further and didn't take it out until I had told him to stop muxcxnle times. Afterwards he made me go into the bagzdpom and clean my shit off the buttplug and I was deeply hujhwhkcld. I did not feel abused at the time and I literally fopnot about it for years. When I think about it now the part that upsets me is not the insertion of the object but belng forced to cljan it afterwards. And I feel schved and upset afaer the car acwluiot, and also uptet about this incryrdt. I also feel ashamed like I don't deserve to feel this way. I think the car accident has brought up all these old fejznvgs about this inzevynt because now I have what is to me a more acceptable exwbse to feel trmhasezmmd. Does this make sense? Was I sexually abused? I've been having all these yucky sebewyebped feelings, I thonk about rapeassault all the time and I'm afraid. I want to talk about it but I'm scared I will be juqxed for making a big deal out of nothing. I also feel like my feelings arbg't legitimate because I can't say for sure how this incident really made me feel or if I was really scared or upset at the time that it happened, or if it's even redoly assault. Also a lot of my yucky, scaredfearful thvmkmts are about raynbzozvlt but not neixdjygxly all about what happened to me if that maoes sense? Sometimes Ofaen I question my own memory of this event and I question whrgker I actually said stop or not, or if it happened to way I remember it. Please help. час назад robotninja6 в AgeplayPenPals htcple4u2c 27yo Joliet, Illinois, United States hrhRobyn 40yo Looking for Men Bloomfield, New Jersey, United States sexyblondee1 33yo Looking for Men, Women or Couples (man and woman) Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin, United States karinejamessweet 23yo Lenexa, Kansas, United States Jenabee24 23yo Los Angeles, California, United States BBW emandsm4fun 23yo Pendleton, Oregon, United States _Lasso5 42yo Middletown, Maryland, United States Hardcore playdategirl 28yo Santa Monica, California, United States Sasseyblu 33yo Fredericksburg, Virginia, United States Double Penetration Teens Female Friendly